Same-sex couples today
still face many questions when planning a wedding, whether
it's legally binding ceremony or a "commitment ceremony" in a state
where same-sex unions are not legal. What should we wear? Who buys the
rings? Who walks whom down the aisle? Do we invite disapproving
relatives?
Straight couples with
mixed religious leanings or unconventional family dynamics might
experience similar dilemmas. But Kathryn Hamm says same-sex couples are
at the forefront of the DIY wedding movement because they're often
forced to find alternatives when a church won't host them or a caterer
declines to work with them. Such considerations extend to the customary
language of the vows, which may need tweaking; wording of the
invitations; and decisions about who to include in the bridal party, if
there is one.
Growing support for
same-sex marriage is good for business and society, the Hamms and others
in the wedding industry agree. And, in states such as Massachusetts,
where same-sex marriage has been legal since 2004, some wedding planners
say its normalization is changing the look and feel of individual
ceremonies.
The single biggest
change has been a dip in the average age of couples, same-sex-wedding
planner Bernadette Coveney Smith said. Just as people who have been
together for decades are finally deciding to get hitched, so are
"millennials" and Gen-Xers who came out as teens and have lived most of
their lives in the open about their sexuality.
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